


All Eyes On You

by Liliako



Category: Big Time Rush
Genre: Hand Jobs, M/M, Mutual Masturbation, Porn Watching, Protective Kendall, Sweet innocent Carlitos, Walking In On Someone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-13
Updated: 2015-10-13
Packaged: 2018-04-26 04:54:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4991035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liliako/pseuds/Liliako
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>They don’t do it very often.  It’s not like a regular thing and it started out really awkward.  Disregarding the sexual tension and any of the emotional attachment beforehand, it’s safe to say that it started with James walking in on Logan watching porn.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	All Eyes On You

They don’t do it very often. It’s not like a regular thing and it started out really awkward. Disregarding the sexual tension and any of the emotional attachment beforehand, it’s safe to say that it started with James walking in on Logan. He didn’t mean to. It certainly wasn’t any kind of planned or schemed event. It was one of those things that happens to everyone at some point- you walk in on your roommate jerking off to internet porn. Only instead of the expected reactions of yelling at each other to get out, it went more like-  
  
“Shit,” Logan breaths out, shoulders still tensed, frantically discarded ear buds on his desk giving faint moans and his lame background of the Fibonacci spiral depicted as an artsy staircase photo stares at him. He closes his eyes because he wants the world to swallow him up whole and the Internet Explorer window tab in his taskbar to not read ‘Fleshbot.org’ right now. But it does, and James is at the door behind him, shutting it and Logan knows James didn’t leave because he just _knows_ , okay?  
  
“Sorry- I didn’t think-“  
  
“You said you were going-” They talk over each other before halting abruptly and Logan’s sure James is wincing as well because this is too awkward to not be cringing at.  
  
The ear buds wail thinly at them, audible to what feels like the entirety of the Palmwoods right now. There’s no high female voices and Logan is wondering if James can tell, but with the impending doom it seems like it’s totally obvious that Logan was watching gay porn. He wants to tuck himself back into his boxers, but the idea of touching himself at all right now with James in the room—well, it’s kind of exciting but totally inappropriate, if Logan’s being honest. The guilt would probably eat away at him until there’s nothing left which is why Logan strictly watches scenes with mostly light haired blonds or bright red heads because they don’t remind him of anyone he knows. So he won’t ever have to imagine any of the guys having sex and therefore he’ll be able to look them in the eye every day for work. That’s all consciously, though. At night or right before he comes, well, a guy really can’t be held responsible for his subconscious, right?  
  
Logan’s not really sure what the social protocol for this sort of thing is but he opens his eyes and looks back over his shoulder to plead silently at James to fix this. James is pressed up against the door with both hands splayed on it, the picture of surprise, with a strange concentrated look on his face and he’s blinking a lot, looking all over the room. He doesn’t look like he’ll be much help.  
  
“Man, I-” Logan starts again, but James blurts out at the same time-  
  
“You don’t have to stop.”  
  
Logan isn’t sure he’s ever seen James blush. He’s never had any reason to be embarrassed or flustered until now, Logan guesses, but the color on James’s face definitely qualifies as a blush. “What?” James couldn’t have said what Logan thinks he said. Obviously Logan is hallucinating and needs to stop watching bad pornos-  
  
“You don’t have to stop,” James says again, with a little more conviction. “Unless you want to, I just know that when I’m in the middle of it I can’t really stop and-”  
  
“Right,” Logan cuts him off because James rambling about himself is usually normal but it’s never been an aimless babbling about the intricacies of how James gets off. He thinks he’s doing James a favor by stopping him, since Logan knows when he gets babbly he says things he doesn’t really want to say (the times he can even form words, that is). “Y-you’re sure?” His right hand twitches, anxious to get back to work because he was actually pretty close to the edge before James came in.  
  
James nods, quietly, and is staring at Logan strangely again. Logan feels like he can’t really move under James’s gaze, like whatever’s happening right now would get weird if he did. “What were you watching?” James asks and cold dread washes over Logan again. How is he supposed to tell his very heterosexual band mate and best friend he gets off on gay porn?  
  
“Uh, y’know, just the regular stuff,” Logan tries to be as vague as possible, hopes there’s some kind of man code where ‘regular stuff’ is an acceptable answer.  
  
“Yeah, right,” James says but it seems distracted in a way. Logan really is starting to stress about how there’s no handbook or protocol for this kind of thing. James had said he could keep going, which was awesome, but did he really expect him to just act like James wasn’t there? Was James going to leave? Because that didn’t look like it was going to happen the way James hadn’t moved from the door. Was Logan supposed to ask him to leave? Did he just open the porn again and- “Sometimes, uh,” James starts and he looks at the floor. “Sometimes I watch guys.” The words hit Logan in the gut and twist there like the best sucker punch. “I know how I like it, y’know? But then I wonder what other guys do.” He looks at Logan again and licks his lips before, “If it could be better or something.”  
  
Logan has no idea what to do with this. James told him he could keep going. James watches other guys get off. Is that James’s way of asking to watch Logan? How do you even ask for clarification about that? ‘Want to watch me blow my load?’ This was real life, not a porno. He almost wished it was, though, because at least then he’d know how this was going to go and he’d know what to say.  
  
“Sorry,” James blurts out again and suddenly looks down at his feet. Logan has really never seen James like this it’s interesting and intriguing. “Shit, that was weird. I should- sorry. I’ll go, you can-“  
  
“Wait,” Logan says before James can even push off from the door. It’s like an experiment, Logan tells himself. James just wants to know the most efficient methods, and really, who is Logan to keep James from knowledge? “You want to,” Logan is turning his chair a little and half shrugs a shoulder because he can’t bring himself to say it. James leans all his weight back on the door and his arms drop to his sides like they’re heavy.  
  
“If you’re cool with it?”  
  
Logan’s answer is turning his chair to face James, heart beating frantically as he bares himself. He watches as James’s head quirks to the side as he looks Logan over, fingers giving a twitch where they hang. He wraps a hand around himself and hears James inhale slowly.  
  
-  
  
That’s how it starts. Logan jerking it while James watches, his eyes hungry and fists clenching. As soon as Logan had finished, James had groaned and escaped to the bathroom.  
  
Logan didn’t think it was very fair, so the next time he’d had James sit up against his headboard, making them straight across from each other, eyes level with each other. When he’d finished, he’d kept James pinned under his gaze telling him ‘Your turn’ and getting to watch for himself. It went on like that, like a little weird game until Logan couldn’t help himself one night. He’d crawled up the bed and James had sprawled his legs in invitation, so Logan sat between them. It wasn’t like he was in his lap or anything, just kneeling between James’s calves. He got a close up look, but they’d never touched each other. That night James didn’t last as long as normal.  
  
It became another experiment in Logan’s mind- the hypothesis was that the closer he got to James the faster he’d reach climax. The next time, he’d made sure to invade as much of James’s space as possible without touching. He thought about sitting next to him but they really had a good thing going with the intense watching, catching each other’s eye occasionally. So the next step had been touching. A casual hand resting on James’s thigh, then both hands, then they moved, running from thigh to hip and back down. Logan hadn’t been sure where to go next, but the impulse to entwine their fingers together around James’s dick had happened and then the next level after that was batting James’s hand away and working it on his own.  
  
Up to that point, Logan had always been the one to initiate contact. With both hands free, balling the bed spread in his fists was James’s default. Whenever he watched Logan he would never touch himself, he’d wait, and wait, and as soon as Logan was done, it was like a starter pistol had gone off and James would be ripping into his own jeans. But when Logan’s jerking him, right before he comes, James gritted out ‘Fuck, Logan,’ and dragged Logan in for a kiss, both hands buried in Logan’s hair.  
  
Before that they hadn’t said anything either, there’d just been panting and bitten off moans and groans, little noises, but no real words. Of course, they hadn’t ever kissed before either, so it was a big day for new things. After that, kissing became a regular part of their routine. It was unspoken that what happened in their room stayed in their room, and whenever one of them wanted to do it was a simple ‘Hey, you wanna?’ with a jerk of the head to their room. What they had worked, there were no messy attachments, they could still flirt with girls and there wasn’t any jealousy or anything. It was an ongoing experiment, Logan decided.  
  
Logan’s not really sure how Kendall and Carlos found out. He didn’t think they were obvious and he didn’t think James would tell, but they asked after a concert one night. They’re all in the back of the tour bus traveling back to the Palmwoods all watching a movie on the big bed. Kendall said something about how demeaning gay stereotypes were in reference to the flamboyant character in the movie. Carlos chimed in with how he thought the bullies were mean and how the Jennifers would rip them new ones, because they’d become activists or something. James and Logan had glanced at each other but not said anything before Carlos punched Logan in the arm. He’d told Logan he accepted him for who he was, grinning widely as Logan gaped at him.  
  
“You think I’m gay?” Logan shrieked and Carlos made a face.  
  
“You’re not? But you and James fool around. You aren’t boyfriends?” And Carlos looked so sad that Logan felt like he was letting him down.  
  
“No! I mean, we do but we aren’t, I mean, I’m not- Are you?” James shook his head quickly and Logan turned back to Carlos. “See? We’re not. It’s not like that, we’re not in it for that.”  
  
“How can you do stuff and have it not mean anything?” Carlos again looked absolutely devastated, and it kind of broke Logan’s heart. Kendall had slapped Carlos on the back and thrown an arm over his shoulders.  
  
“They’re big boys, Carlos, they can do whatever they want,” Kendall said with a shrug.  
  
“This is just like when Gustavo tricked me with that girl!” Carlos huffed and hugged his knees to his chest.  
  
“Not really? No one is paying us to pretend anything, and we like corn dogs,” James had said, trying to make a joke at the end but Carlos was pouting at him.  
  
“Yes it is! You shouldn’t do things with someone unless you really like them! Otherwise it’s just mean,” he’d grumbled and Kendall patted him on the back.  
  
“Carlos, we-” Logan sighed and tried to think about what they were doing and what would appease Carlos. “I trust James. I trust you guys, too, but we’re just trying to figure ourselves out. I thought you guys would think I was weird if I told you I watch guy stuff sometimes online because I knew the way I did it couldn’t be the only way, it’s just not scientifically accurate. And then James walked in on me and said the same thing and it was like having a few different example problems before a homework assignment or test. There’s always more than one way to get to the answer. Sometimes hands on work is easier to understand,” Logan finished babbling. “We trust each other and we’re learning stuff. Does that make sense?”  
  
“I guess,” Carlos conceded. “What do you even do? Do you have sex?” It’s purely curiosity, which always makes any filter Carlos has ever had go away. “My mama told me you should only have sex with someone you really, really love.” It was earnest and truthful, not accusatory, just Carlos reciting what had been ingrained in him, much like how he loved everyone and tried not to judge someone unless they were really bad people.  
  
“No, we don’t,” James said, and looked at Logan awkwardly because they’d never talked about what they did and it probably sounded like the most weird insane thing ever. “I just watch him. And then he watches me.”  
  
“Oh,” Carlos said, looking surprised. “That’s, like, nothing!” He laughed and Kendall rolled his eyes. “That’s like practice kissing! Kendall did that with me once!” Carlos beamed at them and Kendall made a face.  
  
“Dude, don’t-”  
  
“He was worried about kissing Jo wrong and so we practiced!” Carlos chirped and it was James’s turn to laugh while Logan snorted and Kendall punched Carlos in the arm.  
  
“Dude!” Kendall hissed. “Not cool!”  
  
“What?” Carlos pouted at him, rubbing his arm.  
  
“Did you like it? Was Kendall good?” Logan smirked at Kendall while he glared back.  
  
“Yup! I don’t know what else it would be like, but what he did was nice,” Carlos smiled happily. “Kissing is awesome.” Logan had watched Kendall turn pretty red at that.  
  
“Any time you want tips, I’ve been told I’m pretty good,” James said proudly, giving a sidelong glance at Logan who shrugged his shoulder nonchalantly so James’s ego wouldn’t inflate more.  
  
“Thanks! So, what do you and Logan do? Just sit there and stare at each other?” Carlos asked, again, purely curious.  
  
“Well, yeah, I guess,” James shrugged. “Show each other different techniques and stuff.”  
  
“Cool,” Carlos nodded and looked over his shoulder at Kendall. “Can we do that sometime?”  
  
“W-what?” Kendall sputtered, boggling at Carlos.  
  
“They’re right, and I want to learn. C’mon, I did the kissing thing for you! And it can’t be that bad if James and Logan like it!” Carlos logic, while mostly completely off base, sometimes was awesome in Logan’s opinion.  
  
“Logan also likes math and you think that’s pretty bad,” Kendall pointed out in an obvious attempt to change the subject and distract Carlos.  
  
“If you don’t want to help him, I don’t think Logan would mind adding a third to our lessons.” James said, hooking an arm around Carlos’s shoulders and wiggling his eyebrows at Kendall. Kendall immediately grimaced while Carlos smiled in gratitude at James.  
  
“Really? That’s so nice of you guys-”  
  
“It’s okay, you two seem pretty busy, we’ll work it out!” Kendall hooked a finger into Carlos’s collar and tugged him away from James.  
  
“Awesome!” Carlos cheered while Kendall glared at the other two, who were frankly laughing at Kendall’s protectiveness.  
  
So that’s how the thing between James and Logan started, which set off the thing with Kendall and Carlos, and that’s all there was to it really. It all went better than Logan expected. Most people don’t get a boyfriend out of their roommate walking in on them jerking it, so Logan called it a win.


End file.
